The work of pastoral counseling shares elements of reconciling people
to themselves, others, and God; imparting skill-sets for living effectively,
and blessing them with good will and compassionate understanding. In the context of
the Human Nature Compass, this therapeutic healing stimulates spiritual growth
in counselees, in rhythm with cognitive clarification, emotional modulation,
and physical relaxation.
MIND
Thinking is a cognitive event that occurs in the frontal lobe of the
cerebral cortex. Persons can think thoughts with or without emotion or
movement. In 1902 Auguste Rodin created a sculpture titled, “The Thinker.” By
reading the body language, you can tell that the man is pensively meditating
about some inner struggle.
This is how counselees look when they are inwardly absorbed, trying to
sort out what to tell you. They’re not sure what is relevant to the current
problem and what isn’t. That is why Freud developed the psychoanalytic dictum,
“Say everything that comes into your mind, without censoring anything.” Beyond
struggling to know what to disclose, counselees usually want to keep up a good
front to convince us that they are, after all, good and capable human beings,
despite their needs and vulnerabilities.
The pastoral counselor’s mind is also at work, in the form of providing
new knowledge, suggesting interpretations for the counselee’s consideration,
offering perspective on a problem, and developing periodic summaries that state
what has been covered and what lies ahead.
Additionally, your counselee is thinking between sessions about how to
apply new insights toward the solving of current problems. How well counselees
can analytically reflect on their therapeutic experience defines the quality of
their participation, and may well be the single most influential factor for a
positive outcome in counseling.
HEART
Feelings reflect arousal of the limbic system deep inside the brain.
Feelings possess psychological, physiological, and even spiritual dimensions.
Part of effective counseling is helping people recognize when they are having a
feeling, and learn to label it accurately.
Some perennial emotions that may need sorting out include the range
between feeling joyful and sad, hopeful and despairing, elated and depressed,
loving and angry, excited and numb, secure and anxious, confident and guilty,
trusting and jealous, appreciative and resentful, serene and frustrated,
interested and bored, intrigued and repulsed, ecstatic and agonized, proud and
ashamed, reassured and terrified, or caring and indifferent.
E-motions represent physiological energy that is “in motion.” Emotions
express the energy of personality and are always changing, like the flow of
water in a river. It is when some inner conflict has dammed up the flow of
feelings like a beaver dam that persons become mired in anxiety or depression.
This accounts for the unconscious pressure that floods out in cathartic
expression when the beaver dam is therapeutically removed.
In order to develop a healthy personality and fulfilling relationships, all counselees need practice not only in identifying their feelings, but also in thinking about them constructively, and expressing them diplomatically to others and to God.
BODY
The field of physiological psychology reveals that there are two different
nervous systems in every person. The first is the central nervous system (CNS),
which allows a person to stand up and walk, drink a glass of water, or open and
close a door. The central nervous system connects skeleton with muscle, and is
innervated through the sensorimotor band across the top of the cerebral cortex.
The second nervous system, though less conspicuous, is by far the most
important one in counseling. This is the autonomic or “automatic” nervous
system (ANS) where respiration, circulation, digestion, elimination, and
systemic regulation occur, as well as the daily maintenance of every cell in
the body. The ANS can be influenced in dramatic ways. For instance, a professor
walks into her class and announces that she’s giving a surprise pop quiz that
will account for one-fifth of the semester grade. Within microseconds, blood
pressure shoots up, pulses quicken, hands clench, and a few students
practically stop breathing.
It works the same in counseling, only you can use the ANS for beneficial
results. With a few well-chosen words, or even a purposeful shift in your body
language, you can easily influence your counselee’s attitude and bodily state.
This week when a counselee starts manifesting anxiety, try relaxing your own
body by letting your voice have resonance and breathing from your diaphragm,
slowly and easily. Remember to let your hands
melt into your lap. Watch how, before long, your counselee begins to relax, since you are
giving such strong environmental signals that everything is okay. What is
happening is that the direct communication of your “at-ease” body language
becomes an unconscious suggestion that your counselee’s ANS translates into a
physiological relaxation response.
This “stay and play” mode of the autonomic nervous system is the
opposite of the “fight or flight” mode that the slightest hint of threat can
trigger. So especially when you are offering a novel interpretation of a
counselee’s behavior for consideration, or when you are exploring an
emotionally-charged past memory, you’ll want to do so in a warm and relaxing
way.
SPIRIT
When working with non-religious counselees, or counselees who adhere to
the teaching of various world religions, human spirituality can be thought of
as the realm of values, meaning, and ultimate concern that promotes serenity
and truth.
Adherents of Christianity, Judaism, Islam, Hinduism, Buddhism, Taoism,
Confucianism, the New Age movement, and agnosticism reveal significant differentiation
in their perception of spirituality. Nevertheless, a common theme often echoes
Christ’s teaching to love God with your whole being and love your neighbor as
yourself.
Or, if the person doesn’t believe in a theistic conception of God,
surrendering to a Higher Power is valuable in order to find meaning beyond the
autonomous self. And if a Higher Power is excluded from religious belief, then there is
usually a quest for truth in terms of freedom from illusions and commitment to
social justice.
Whatever the spiritual orientation of the counselee, the pastoral
counselor can personally draw upon the unique message of Christian faith and
doctrine that God is a loving Trinity, providing a platform for therapeutic
helping that spiritually interfaces with Christ as mediator between God and
persons, the Holy Spirit as Advocate or “One called alongside to help,” and God
the Father Almighty, who together form the ontological foundation of human
nature and hold the key to its fulfillment. For an in-depth exploration of this
theme, I refer you to:
